This originally appeared on my facebook when someone wanted to keep it real and ask “oh yeah, smart guy, what would YOU do about home security?”. I feel like I have it pretty well figured out:
Evan Williams, if we could…melt all the guns down into a bridge that lead to say…. Great Britain. I recently REALLY got into British culture like tea, Doctor Who, and caring about the royal family. You know, British stuff. I was watching this movie and Britain was in it and they had glowly shock wand things that they hit criminals with. I think that would be good. Maybe we could mount those wands on a cross bow or someother sort of hand help device? So, yeah, recap: Take all the guns away from everyone, melt them down to gun-bridge, get some Great Britain glow wands, mount those on cross bows. I really do think everyone would be happier with the Glow Shock Crossbow (Patent Pending). I think that most gun owners would feel much cooler in their ideal gun situation. You know, like the one where the intruder is standing at the edge of their bed? How much cooler would the previous gun owner feel if he could roll out of bed like John McClane, strike a ready-for-action stance and fire a Glow Shock Wand (Patent Pending) at this masked intruder? Or, maybe some one gave the previous gun owner the finger while driving. Now, this person could wave around their Glowand Launcher (Patent Pending) and just show it off. I think that would scare off anyone who thought this is the kind of place you can go around giving the finger to people! Actually, reading over this, it’s starting to sound like I don’t know what I am talking about even with the invention of the Glow and Blow Bow with Laser Targeting (Patent Pending). I think the long and short of it is (Long and Short versions available for the Bright Fight Glow Club Launcher- Patent Pending) that I really wish that we didn’t live in a culture where domestic conflicts were not so easily ‘won’ by the push of button (pulling of a trigger). Maybe we lost our way and forgot how to either let things roll off our backs or confront them head on. Maybe if certain types of guns/rounds were unavailable, it would greatly reduce tragic shootings. Sure, the criminals will still get the weapons- but so will the people that are responsible enough to have them. For everyone else- might I suggest Baumgart’s Multi-GlowMissle Handheld Launcher with Bluetooth Capability?